- deep voice*: Hey there boys, Keppy sent me to help teach you that.
- Lurus: Whatever, I'm here on business, so either get out of my way, or I'll get you out of my way.
Mr. Gold noticed a pony section and went down to look at it. Mr. Vez's mind was elsewhere end ended up getting his foot shot by Lurus.
Vez: What are you trying to steal anyway? This section is about our parents. Lurus: That's what they all say isn't it? Vez: What do you mean? Lurus: Well first off your father was never a writer, he just hung around with them. :P
Vez: No, look his picture is right there. *points at huge Vezon's portrait* Lurus: Your father wasn't that Vezon. He just took his name. Vez: That's not what he said. Lurus: So you think your father was a Skakdi? Vez: Yes Lurus: Skakdi can't even- Nevermind, I have work to do. Vez: So what are you doing exactly? Lurus: What's the point of telling to you about it? Lurus: What's the point of telling you about it?
Mr. Vez proceeded to eat Lurus's hat as Lurus walked away, which later resulted in severe digestive issues we'll spare you of. Lurus: That may look like my Father's hat, but it's not. The real hat was stolen from me long ago.
Lurus: *walks over to case* This is the real hat. And in it my father left a secret message.
Lurus proceeded to break the glass and take the hat, and alarm went off, but since the security system was bought at the local hardware store, a few bullets shut it up.
an*
Vez: What does the message say? Gold: Something about ponies? Lurus again used the bullet to the foot technique. Lurus: I can't read it. Vez: You can't?
Lurus: It's coded. Vez: Well I guess this plot arch is over, I'm going home. Mr. Vez proceeded home then realized his foot was still bleeding, and went to the hospital. Lurus: There's got to be another clue around here. Hat: Put me on Lurus, I will show you the next hint. Lurus: My father never mentioned you could talk. Hat: I can't, you're just going crazy from the anger you're building up. Lurus then put on the hat, as he did he realized the position of the hat would reflect the morning sun in to the greek section in exactly 2 hours. That would point him to a map which could point him in a location.
The paper read "The secret code cannot be passed down, it must be kept secret, it must be kept safe." Lurus: They're ripping off Lord of the Rings, the writers defiantly wrote this. "The prophecy states only two shall live when the traitor is among the world, these two can read the message to the heroes of the new age." Gold: So then we need to find a living writer? Well that's easy, Mayor Chris is still alive. Lurus: Stop reading over my shoulder.
Gold: So we just walk up to town hall and talk to Mayor Chris. Lurus: And get tazed until our ears bleed.
That didn't involve actually talking to someone who would taze him :P Lurus: Mayor Chris will not help us, he's fallen too far from the writers anyway. Gold: Who else is there, Kepler, LQ, Malurus, Gazpacho, SW, and Leo have all passed.
Lurus: There must be some other way. I think I know someone who can help. She's kept tabs on the history of the writers more then any history books. Gold: The daughter of iHuntress? (gasp)
Lurus: No, iHuntress has no known descendants. She dropped off the face of the earth long before the others. Lurus: I'm talking about LQ's daughter. Gold: Is it going to be a long trip there? Because MLP is on soon and... Lurus attempted to loose Gold on the way out, but for some plot holed reason Gold followed him though it had nothing to do with Ponies.
They arrived at the house of MQ 1998 later that day.
Lurus knocked on the door with his shotgun, and politely gestured to be welcomed in.
- Lurus: It's funnier this way.
Lurus: I'm guessing you know why we're here? MQ: If I'm correct, yes. My father would often tell stories about this day long after anyone was interested. Lurus: We need to find the other surviving writer.
MQ: I think I can help with that. I have lost tabs on one of the surviving writers, but I do know of the location of one. Lurus: Look, we already went over this, we can't go to Chris.
MQ: No, I'm talking about SW. Gold: But he passed. MQ: SW actually died years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
MQ: No, I'm talking about SW. Gold: But he passed. MQ: SW actually died years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet. Lurus: Where can we find him?
Yes :P MQ: He's an old Hermit living in Alaska. Lurus: OK, I can sneak on to the 12 o' clock flight and- MQ: I was kidding MQ: He owns a casino in New Orleans.
Lurus: Oh good, I've got connections there (spy2) Gold: Let's go!
Lurus: Look, at this point you're just baggage to this part of the plot. I believe you have something else to do right? So how about you go off in your direction so I don't have to shoot you again? Gold: OK (cry)
Sad music plays as Gold walks out in to the rain, then gets hit by a bus.
As Gold is riding down the highway on the grill of the bus he gets a call from Keppy. Gold :Yellow Keppy: Did you forget you had a job to do? Gold: I had a job to do? Keppy: You haven't taken out a single one of the Toa Nuva yet, time is running out Gold: Should I be concerned? Keppy: Yes. Gold assumed that meant it involved ponies, so from this point he was very focused on his task. That afternoon he picked up Vez from the hospital as a very angry nurse yelled and shot at him on the way out.
Miniature Lewa: The boss sent in some help for you guys this time. This is Slaz, son of Gaz. Miniature Lewa: He's a robot-bunnyman hybrid. Slaz: MYSTACK WAHAHA Miniature Lewa: Atleast we think he's Gaz's son. Miniature Lewa: We don't know any other robot bunnies.
Miniature Lewa: You'll be firing him out of the shotgun. Vez: OK *loads bullet in the shotgun then Slaz on top*
Gold: There's Onua! FIRE FIRE FIRE BEFORE HE NOTICES US Gold: CAN YOU HEAR ME? Mr. Vez forgetting the gun firing lessons he took pressed the safety on instead and let go of the gun to cover his ears*
Slaz: *Runs our of gun* BANG BANG BAG BLANG BLONG BLAND BLANT BLONG BANG BAND out*
Slaz went up and bit Onua's leg causing him a minor annoyance. Six to eight weeks later he had a due trial and was sentenced to life in prison.
Vez: *peaks up from behind wall* Did it hit? It's taking a long time. Gold: Let's wait a little longer.
(elsewhere) Keppy: You wanted to see me sir? Mayor Chris: Yes, I gave you a task to complete, but I am not happy with how it is going. Mayor Chris: I told you what's at stake here, your father would be disappointed if you let his business fail. Keppy: Well to be honest I don't really care about that- Mayor Chris: WELL YOU SHOULD Keppy: YOU'RE RIGHT Mayor Chris: The Toa must fall, I've waited far too long.
(New Orleans) Lurus walked the streets of the black market where honest people sold honest goods for more then honest prices. He heard various people haggling and bargaining, talking and threatening one another. A great neighborhood. One in particular he noticed was a man named Allen Duck who was apparently quitting his old business in a rather nasty way.
Lurus: We won't be having tea tonight. ??: That'd be injustice forever... if you know what I mean. Lurus: Christopher Major, our paths cross again. Christopher: You need information again? Lurus: I need to see your uncle Christopher: So you heard the rumors he's still around eh? Lurus: Not that hard toe believe, your father is still around and he's older. Must be in their blood. Christopher: Lurus. My Father died half a decade ago. Lurus: Don't play games with me, we all know he's been driving Atero in to the ground. Christopher: I'm not playing games, I may be a black market salesman, but I'm no cheat. Lurus: I don't have time for this. Lurus: Can you get me in to see your uncle or not? Christopher: He's been expecting you. I'll bring you to where the others are waiting. Lurus: Others? No no no, this is between me and him. Christopher: Well if you don't want to see him. Lurus: ...Fine, if it must be done. (in the casino backroom) OQ: Well well, look who it is. Lurus: I don't know you. OQ: I know you, my sister has told me. Lurus: And your name is OQ? Real creative. OQ: Heh, whatever. We have business to get down to. OQ: Let me introduce you to the others, here we have Keppo, youngest son of Kepler, Mr. SW, son of the original SW, SW's slightly more rebellious son StarTrekk, Biofan2, VisableInika, Maximus Son of Leo, and finally Slaz, who re broke out of prison before you arrived. Lurus: I'm surprised you didn't contact- OQ: Your sisters? Well Orion did insist, but I pulled a few strings to keep them out of it. Lurus: It's for the best. VisableInika: Why do I have the feeling some of us will be forgotten? Lurus: Look I don't know why you're all here, I have my own troubles to worry about. Max (Who strangely has a Scottish accent): Don't ya see? Those troubles involve us all. Lurus: I'm going to stop here before I turn in to the stereotypical "I work alone guy" like Clutch Powers and everyone hates me. Guu Jr. Orion's butler entered the room and served drinks to everyone as they waited. Some were more disappointed then others about the strength of the drinks. BF2: When is this starting? OQ: Soon hopefully, I want to know what that message says. Lurus: How do you know about the message? OQ: My sister told me everything, I knew the same stories as her you know, I told Orion to gather everyone BF2: Why don't we just go to my Dad to translate it? ST: You're dad is dead BF2. BF2: Um, no he's not :|
Orion: *appears* OK, I think we've waited long enough. Lurus: What took you so long? Orion: Sorry, lag. Everyone: ... Lurus: Can you please translate my Father's hat? Orion: Sure, let me see it... Orion: It says "Dry clean only" Orion: In three languages too. Crafty work. Lurus: :| *walks in to other room where we hear shattering glass* Orion: Oh wait! You meant the secret Writer's message. Lurus: ... You're lucky we need you to translate this. BF2: We should have went to my Dad :| VisableInika: I think I was forgotten. Keppo: *is sleeping* Max: Dough that's what I buy beer with! Joe the buy I beer from! Me the guy I buy beer for! guy* OQ: (facewall) Slaz: ICANZTOULKTS! I'm here too! Guu Jr.: If you sirs would kindly SHUT THE KARZ UP. The master would like to say something. Orion: I have translated the message. Lurus: Finally! Orion: "The Writer's legacy will stand only if the second generation reveals the evil from within, 3 artifacts have been hidden to guide you. The first being this hat, the second resting in the north of-
- gun shot*
ST: Dad! Lurus: *sees gunman* After him! Lurus, OQ, and BF2 chase the gunman through the casino where various video game characters were conversing. TJK's son would have appeared in a cameo here if he didn't die in Adventure of the Writers. (in allyway) ???: I think I lost them. Lurus: *dropkicks the gunner* OQ: *pulls mask off the gunman* Komatnuju: It's too late for you. Komatnuju now posses stun vision as well blasted the three gen 2 writers off of him because this is lazy writing. Komatnuju: I was revived, now I can set things how they always should have been *aims gun at Lurus*
- gun shot*
Lurus: So this is how it ends. Lurus: Guys, take up my quest. Orion: You didn't get shot you idiot. I shot Komatnuju/ Lurus: So the shot didn't kill you? Orion: Death hasn't had the courage to tell me yet. OQ: Good, now let's hear the rest of the message before something else happens. Orion: Uhg... sorry boys... looks like it's finally built up the courage. Lurus: Quickly, please tell us the message before it's too late! Orion: I know you'll do well. Tell me sons I'm proud of them. OQ: I know you want some meaningful last words, but we really need that message. Orion: *cough cough* You'll make us all proud I'm sure. Orion: Closes eyes. Orion: Whoops I didn't mean to say that. Orion's eyes closed and he gently drifted off to sleep. Lurus: What now? OQ: We'll have to find the other writer. Lurus: This doesn't seem right. OQ: Gather the others. We have to move along, even though our hope is gone. So the new team moved out to try and find the other writer and decode the message.
Post credit scene!
Mr. SW stayed behind to grieve the loss of his father.
SW: Father no, you shouldn't have died.
Orion: *gets up* I'm not dead fool- uh eh, my son... I'm simply at peace.
SW: What now?
Orion: They'll find out when the time is right.
Mr. Gold and Mr. Vez were rather hungry from sitting behind the wall for the past 2 months, so the decided to visit a local dinner.
Gold: now what are we going to do?
Vez: Well if you get the chicken and I get the steak.
Italian Chef: NO RIPPING OF OLD COMEDIES IN ME RESTAURANT!
Gold: *reads menu more closely* Wait! They have horse meat! WE CAN'T EAT HERE!
Gold: RESPECT THE PONIES YOU HEATHENS.
Vez: I CAN TALK IN CAPS TOO.
Kopaka: What's going on here? I just wanted to eat my favorite horse meat dinner in peace.
Respecting the ponies as he should, Mr. Gold took out his shot gun, sadly still forgetting his lessons and shooting Mr. Vez in the foot.
Vez: I'll get him!
Mr. Vez attempting again to shoot Kopaka, screaming in pain as he was stabbed in the foot by his target instead.
Kopaka: How dare you get in the way of my horse meat dinner!
Gold: You have threatened the ponies for the last time, this was just business, but now it's personal.
Mr. Gold took out his full automatic skyblaster, which was extremely illegal in every state, except Texas.
Kopaka: FOR HORSE MEAT!
Gold: FOR PONIES!
- bang bang bang bang*
Vez: MY FOOT! Kopaka: *holds sword to Mr. Vez and Mr. Gold* Surrender or run Vez: That's a Vahki reference! Mr. Vez's foot suffered again for not the first time that day. Gold: I'll surrender. Vez: Despite the condition of my foot, I'll run. TO BE CONTINUED!
BF2: Well since Orion is dead we need to go find my Dad. OQ: Again, your Dad is dead BF2: Is not :| OQ: Yes he is.
BF2: I DECLARE A TEAM SPLIT! Lurus thought about it for a minute and realized that would mean less people to deal with. Lurus: I second that! BF2: Now if you're smart and are going to come with me to see my Dad, you can follow me. OQ: Or you could go with us and find a writer who's actually living.
So after much debate and a few people generally not caring the team was split in to two
Team 1: Lurus OQ Keppo ST
Team 2: BF2 MAximus VisableInika
BF2: This isn't fair, you have more memebers Keppo: It's not supposed to be fair. BF2: Nope! Has to be fair. Christopher so are you guys heading out soon or should I- BF2 grabbed Christopher and stuffed him in the body shaped bag he happened to be caring. BF2: There, now it's fair, we don't have to cut Keppo in half. Lurus: .... I'm leaving So the two teams parted ways, BF2's team took the first bus that showed up to the station and team 1 went back to the museum to look for clues. (The museum) Lurus: The memorials to all the other writers are here. ST: But my Dad was still alive, maybe someone else is as well. OQ: No, he was a special case. Lurus: So does that mean we have to go to Chris? Because I'm not doing that. OQ: No Chris won't help, there's another, Orion was supposed to be dead. Someone else is still alive. Lurus: Then we're screwed trying to find them. OQ: There are other writers, writers who left before the end. They may be able to translate the message. Keppo: You don't mean. OQ: Yes I mean... (The "BCC 2") Lurus: What the heck is this place? OQ: The self proclaimed, BCC 2. Lurus: Never heard of it. OQ: Well there's a lot you don't remember isn't there? Lurus: What's that supposed to mean? OQ: You know.
OQ: Someone wake Keppo up and we'll go inside.
Star Trek spend the next few minutes trying to wake Keppo up but being they were in the middle of the street, they both were soon hit by a bus.
....And lived.
But it's hard writing for so many characters so we'll see them again later.
OQ: So this is the BCC2... You'll never find a more putrid hole of scum and villainy.
Lurus: Wait wait, back when this comedy wast last written some weeks ago you said I don't remember things. What's that supposed to mean?
Across the street a young boy named Joshlego suddenly had a cramp and fell over on the sidewalk.
OQ: Well I guess it's no use waiting until later in the plot to tell you.
Joshlego continued to cramp up.
OQ: You lost the memories of most your life when you were 19.
Lurus: ....
SW: BLADE RUNNER EEZ SO EPUCS (derp)
OQ: It feels like Orion is still with us even after death.
Lurus: No I think that's really him over there.
OQ: Nonesense, let's get back to the story.
Lurus: ...
OQ: you were part of a alight group of mercenaries during the Hero Factory wars. I was a member of that same team.
Lurus: is that why my father would be complaining about why I hardly know anyone then?
OQ: Strange way to put it, but yes.
OQ: Our mission was to take down Emperor Dino/Mark Surge
OQ: Many of our parents fell during this time. And it took a toll on all who were in it.
Lurus: I know about the war, but I remember it being long before my time.
OQ: Your memories were altered as part of a war recuperation project. A method that was later deemed unsafe.
Lurus: Well thanks for telling me so soon.
OQ: You're welcome.
Lurus: That was snark.
OQ: I know, that was too.
Lurus: Just get on with it.
OQ: The memories may never fully return, but in time you may remember-
Lurus: Whatever, can we just get out of this scum hole?
OQ: OK not until we get what we need.
Lurus: Where will we find another writer here?
An old Man sat at a table playing cards, most everyone was playing blackjack but he insisted it was poker.
OQ: Juni.
Lurus: Wasn't Juni a traitor or something?
OQ: So be it, he still posses some of there tricks.
Lurus: So the only living writer is him?
OQ: No Chris is the only living writer now, Juni was no longer counted and not in the prophesy. We're bending the rules.
Lurus: Sounds like a fair game.
Juni: Welcome to the BCC guys!
OQ and Lurus tried not smack the nearest person next to them at such an offensive remark.
OQ: We need you to translate how this hat says.
Lurus: HECK NO HE IS NOT TOUCHING THE HAT
After a long session of debate and some threats OQ convinced Lurus to let Juni read the hat.
Juni: OK give it here sonny. *As Juni touches the hat it flies off in to space*
Lurus: OQ... What were you just saying about "It will be fine?".
OQ: heh heh....
Lurus:...
OQ: .... Um well... WE'RE DONE HERE. (cl)
OQ then set some charges and blew up the BCC2, not that anyone important really cared, accept to dance on it's ashes.
(much much later)
ST: So we just take these starships to the moon and blow it up.
OQ: Won't that cause the ocean to mess up or something?
ST: Who cares? It has to be done.
Lurus: I feel like I've missed something.
OQ: Because you were in a coma.
Lurus: ....
ST: Your hat went in to space, so it probably landed on the moon, best way to get it back is to blow the moon up.
Lurus: Do I get to fire a missile?
OQ: Possibly.
Lurus: Then I'm in.
Keppo: ZZzzzZzzz
OQ: I wonder what happened to the rest of the cast.
Lurus: Who cares, four is more then enough. Let's go.
- star fox theme plays*
So all the ships launched off the space to get the hat. After a series of events we won't go in to here, they made it to the moon.
- rocks fly at Keppo*
OQ: DO A BARREL ROLL!
Keppo, being asleep, failed to do a barrel roll. And we all know what happens when you do that.
ST: KEPPO NO!
OQ: Wow this just got a lot darker.
??: Speaking of Darker. *shoots OQ's ship down*
Lurus: What the heck is that!?
??: You should not have come here son of Malurus and son of Orion. Today you will meet your doom.
ST: Lurus there's a base inside the moon, I have use my missiles to get you in but you'll have to go it alone from there.
Lurus: It's for the hat. I'll do it.
(meanwhile elsewhere)
Mr. Gold and Mr. Vez had been working on their quest to kill the Toa Nuva for 2 and a half years now. While they successfully wounded many bystanders and their own feet, the Toa remained very much alive. They had been informed by Keppy that Mayor Chris would be giving them the key to the city today, and mentioned something about their head on the fireplace mental if they messed up again. Mr. Vez was having a bad hair day, and was hoping Keppy wouldn't make him get his picture taken. So he took the whole thing very seriously.
Gold: This scope should make sure we don't miss.
Vez: Why don't you test it out?
Gold: *shoots Vez in foot* Seems to work.
As Vez fell over in pain again he noticed something rather odd in the lighting room they were in.
Vez: Moon teleportation system. perfect! We can use this to make sure the Toa don't get away!
Gold: Thank Mata Nui for cheap plot devices.
Miniature Lewa: Hey I remember this! Keppy wrote about it on his blog! Mayor Chris installed it the same time he installed that chip in his brain!
Gold: That has nothing to do with ponies, I don't care. *flips switch*
I should have mentioned the key to the city ceremony was going on at the time, and the entire capital building was teleported to the moon along with everyone in it.
____ Mayor Chris: And so, I present this useless key to the Toa Nuva, for being around so long that we all remember them.
Vez: Do it now Mr. Gold!
Mr. Gold carefully aimed the scope at Tahu, checked the wind, humidity, gravity, and hired a psychic to tell him if it would hit. Which is a terribly satanic thing to do, but we won't get in to it right now.
Gold: OK, let's do this.
As the shot fired Mr. Vez jumped for cover, fearing for his feet. But though he was on the total opposite side of the gun, it misfired out the back instead of the front. Going right through Mr. Vez's foot in midair. ...And then it turned around and went straight through Mayor Chris heart.
Gold: I DID IT I KILLED TAHU!
Chris?: No no this is all wrong!
Mayor Chris, as everyone expected, turned out not to be Chris at all, and the lies fell off of him, revealing a dark shadowy figure.
However, Mr. Gold and Mr. Vez were totally ignorant of that. Feeling their job was done they teleported them and all the audience back to the empty lot that used to be the capital.
At this exact moment Lurus got to the center of the moon base where this shadowy figure remained.
Chris? (well not Chris but we have no better name for him right now): Son of Malurus... know that... I CONTROL THE BCCVERSE! Lurus: Who cares?
Chris?: You will die just like your father.
Lurus: *shoots Chris?.*
Chris: GAHHHHHHHHH! *melts in to puddle*
But of course we can't have the story end like that, so the puddle reforms in toa giant shadowy figure of none other then.... THE BUTLER
Lurus: So Chris? you show your true form. Butler: Even after I starred in a comedy, I was always thought to be a minor character of the BCC, soon forgotten about.
The Butler: So I hunted down the writers and reshaped reality. But no one ever knew of Chris's death, so I took that as an advantage.
Lurus: Spare me the backstory, it's creating plot holes.
The Butler: ONLY I HAVE THE BRAINS TO RULE THE BCC!
Lurus: *shoots the Butler again* The Butler: *starts to explode* IF I GO DOWN I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME! GAHHHHHHH
Then as the moon started to burn to a crisp (which should be impossible without oxygen), Lurus's ship was engulfed in flames. He died a hero. Or would have if he died.
But there will be no heroes in this story, because at that moment, the hat appeared again.
Malurus: Don't ever give up my son. Lurus: Father?
Malurus: Follow me Lurus. Lurus: But wait! Malurus: Let me rephrase that, follow me, or die. Lurus: point taken.
So Lurus and Malurus flew through the fiery moon, which would look pretty awesome if I could show you, but sadly this is text.
Malurus: Never give up, trust the writing.
And the moon blows up with Lurus coming out just after Malurus. But when back in space, the ship that once housed Malurus fades to nothing, leaving only a hat. ST: Lurus you're OK! Keppo: Me and OQ were even brought back from our fiery graves to make the ending happier!
Lurus: *looks around for Malurus* OQ: What's wrong Lurus? Lurus: ...Nothing... nothing is wrong. So the four went back to earth, where cause in the weather had started thanks to the lack of moon, but that's not what this story is about.
Orion: Well done everyone! Keppo: Orion you're alive! Orion: Did you think death would build up the courage to tell me I'm dead?
Then BF2, MAximus, VisableInika showed up with some news of there own. BF2: Guess what guys! We can save the world now! We found a writer! OQ: Guys we already did that. BF1: Then what am I going to do?
Lurus: Oh gosh no. BF2: told you he was alive :|
So the next day everyone went back to their happy lives, some being blissfully ignorant. Keppy was a much nicer boss to Mr. Gold and Mr. Vez without that chip in his head, and never asked them to kill anyone again. THE END