Once upon a time, YJF lived in a new house. He had moved to a new neighborhood and had taken up residence in a old, musty building which had been recently and only halfway renovated. Once situated, he quickly befriended half the neighborhood with his uncanny charm and social skills.

It was only in the spring of 2016 when nearby residents noticed the odd shipments being brought into the halfway renovated building. Long oblong boxes with curious markings and exposed pallets of a strange dark wood - But never any carpenters, and never any sounds of carpentry. YJF's house began to grow a strange abundance of weeds and moss around the boundries, sickly vines climbing up the walls drawn to something inside, no doubt what construct the strange dark wood had yielded, and YJF's own rapidly increasing signs of isolation and antisocial behavior.

Around the time his WIFI network was renamed "something obviously wrong is going on you should come see it," he began inviting old friends over whom he hadn't seen since last autumn. That was when the smell began to drift out from the mouldy boards of the alarmingly alien and unkempt house, and it was not but three weeks after when I was invited inside for dinner. Of course I had brought a small firearm along just in case, though I have always done my best to never judge people purely on speculation, but this peculiar and uncomfortable person who stood before me at the door at once put me on high alert, for this was not the awesome, charismatic YJF I had first known almost a year back, but a shriveled, dark eyed and pale clam like rendition of the same man. He gestured for me to enter and I did so with the utmost dread, which as I tried to rationalize, could not fully hold against him or the uncouth atmosphere of decay, for I had never left the quiet, mostly middle class and white suburban neighborhood and could not have seen much in the way of evil things, this being the most I could tolerate and so I assumed it was not the worst in the world.

When we reached the dining room I saw a feast unlike any ever laid before my average eyes. Wines of every color, (save neon green and orange), large grapes, tufts of tender lettuce in a magnificent salad, a type of stuffed bird who's origin I still do not know, and juicy slices of silver meat. I sat down at once to eat, an overpowering allure guiding my steps and siezing my hands, all precautions dropped. No sooner was the first bite and sip eaten and drunk that I began to feel faint, and the once incredibly exotic feast laid out on the turtle shell table top melted away, revealing gelatinous masses of grotesque udders, wads of cash dripping in slime, and YJF's horrific grin, (In hindsight I believe he had spent too much time role playing, as his Internet history had shown later in the investigation.).

I was pulled across the floor in a drugged and delusional state, and laid before a tall, oblong structure covered in a golden blanket. At once panic flooded through my viens like ice water as some unspeakable dread overtook me. My body writhed in fits of horror, (like a drunken hobo I'd seen having a seizure while visiting my mother for Christmas), the looming structure imposing its full unholy power, and the thing underneath the golden sheet dragging me to it. YJF pulled the covering off and standing before us both, a grim closet of dark wood towering to an unfathomable hieght within the confines of the bare room, scratch marks pecking at the framing and floorboards below the entrance, as if someone had been pulled into the yawning darkness and had lashed blindly for a surface to hold onto.

I screamed, I wailed, I begged for mercy, but YJF only chanted an awful incantation, (much like the Hobo who had a seizure), and soon set me right before the door. Slowly he opened it. I felt a whisper of cold air wash over me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Finally I caught a glimpse of what was inside that closet, and that glimpse alone drove me half to cackling madness. Lurking softly on all hands and feet in the infinite blackness amid a floor of blood splattered hay, chewing on an old bone, was the one only mentioned in the oldest of evil books, he who was banished from the BCC, now residing and feasting within the closet YJF had purchased off of Ebay from distant Egypt.... It was Chris!

So I pulled my gun out and shot it. YJF cried and I stumbled away and called the police, cause I wasn't in it for the money.


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